I have four older siblings. I'm the third girl. There's very little I do that someone else hasn't already done. Almost nothing I do, say, and think is new. The result?
I often feel I have to prove myself.
Growing up, I always felt that my older siblings were better. That I was second best. So I retreated from them and hid in my imagination.
Now, please don't hear that my siblings are horrible or that my parents don't love me. Because that's not true. My siblings are great people who put up with a lot from me, and my parents love just as much as they do the four who came first.
That's not the point. No, the point is I had insecurities about my value and didn't know what to do with them. So I listened to Satan's whisperings, and instead of telling my parents, I tried to deal with them my own way.
This is still my gut reaction to many things. I hide. I may not dress up as a princess and fight dragons anymore, but I'm not above burying my problems with books and writing.
But you know what I'm learning? Satan's wrong. I don't have to hide, and I don't have to prove myself. God values and loves me.
"But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
~ Romans 5:8
That's how much God values us. To Him, we are worth Jesus' life. We never have to hide from Him, and we're never second best in His eyes. And that's more than enough.
This is really helpful. I often feel the same way, even though I'm the oldest. It's really hard. ):
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